I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the day after is always just damage control
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
