ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
