the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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