I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
