On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
