too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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