everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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