problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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