I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
