Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I FOUND THE LEGS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
