I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
