I want to stick my p in your. b.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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