Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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