It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
