Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
