Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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