my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I've blown a few things in my day
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
