after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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