trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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