...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
only you would photoshop your dick
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
