flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
