true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
