thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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