How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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