Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
