Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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