dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
