9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
