Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
