Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
