oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
