everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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