I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
