You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
