i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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