does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
