11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You made me cry and you don't even care
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
