All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
