i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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