so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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