Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
