it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Damn victory sex feels great
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
