4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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