i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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