Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
