trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
