haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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