So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
