you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
