Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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